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To: Mars Confectionery Company
Banish The Bounty From Boxes Of Celebrations
We are calling for Bounty chocolates to be banished from boxes of Celebrations, and replaced with more of the flavours that people want to eat.
Why is this important?
In a scene played out across homes across the country inthe first week of January, Martin Coles from Rotherham was anticipating a small glimmer of joy amidst the post-Christmas gloom, when he remembered there was still an unfinished box of Celebrations in the kitchen cupboard. But anticipation turned to despair as he removed the lid to reveal that the half a dozen remaining chocolates all had a familiar blue wrapper. “I was absolutely gutted” he said, “the only chockies left were bleedin’ bastard bollocking Bounties…and I don’t usually swear.”
An undercover investigation by The Rotherham Bugle has revealed that the coconut confection is the last in the box in 9 out of 10 packs of Celebrations. Most of the time they’re either foisted off on work colleagues, fed to family pets or dumped with the box. Occasionally they’re eaten at parties by people too drunk to know or care what they’re consuming.
The Bounty is the black sheep of the family, the runt of the litter and the one bad apple in the barrel all rolled into one. It has to stop. It's important we do this now, so that the makers Mars can get their act together before next Christmas so that it doesn’t become another festive fiasco on the chocolate front.
Let’s work together to banish the Bounty from Celebrations once and for all.
